7 Common Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

7 Common Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship! Could you be in a toxic relationahip that is literally draining the life out of you?

Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship can suck the life right out of you. Some people have a long history of getting into toxic relationships and staying far too long.

What exactly is a toxic relationship? Here’s one explanation from the book Toxic People (1995) by Dr. Lillian Glass:

“A toxic relationship is any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there’s conflict, and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

Dr. Glass is acknowledged as the person who coined the phrase “toxic relationship; however, toxic relationships existed long before she wrote “Toxic People.” A toxic relationship is characterized by the constant presence of a draining force that consistently eats away at the peace, contentment, and joy of one of the parties in the relationship. Toxic people create toxic environments that destroy the vibrance of life and vitality of an individual. Toxicity is a force that will create a perpetual state of inanition. If you want to live your life at the height of your capacity to live, you must avoid toxic relationships at all costs.
Does any of these characteristics sound familiar to you?

Consider these commonalities found in toxic relationships:

  1. Controlling behavior

Toxic relationships often have an element of control. Does your partner always have to have everything their way?

  • Does he/she insist on going with you when you spend time with your friends?

    • Does he/he always need to be the center of attention?

    • Does he/she refuse to accept blame even when it’s obviously their fault?

    • Does your partner limit whom you’re allowed to see or when?

  1. Distrust

Demanding to know where you are and with whom is a prime example of mistrust. Are you really going to spend time with your mother? They might just drive by to see if you’re telling the truth.

  • Does your partner doubt everything you say? Is your word never good enough?

    • Does your partner track your location with a phone app?

    • Does your partner quiz you to try to catch you in a lie?

    • Do you have to justify yourself all of the time?

  1. Justifying your partner’s behavior

Do you have to explain away your partner’s behavior to your friends and family, even though you know deep down there’s no justification for the way your partner acts? Is your partner rude and disrespectful to you in front of your friends and family?

  1. Physical or verbal abuse

Any abuse is unacceptable. If your partner is abusing you in any way, respect yourself enough to leave the relationship. There are no justifications for abusive behavior, and abuse must never be tolerated.

  1. Passive-aggressive behavior

Does your partner forget to pick you up? Do they forget to water your plants while you are out of town? Do they keep shrinking your favorite clothes by over-drying them? Do you receive a lot of excuses from your partner in general?

  • Are you the one exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior?

  1. Lying

This needs little explanation. Does your partner lie to you? Do you find yourself telling lies just to keep the peace? Do you lie in order to avoid spending time with your partner? For example, do you tell your partner you have to help your mother, but you actually go sit at the bookstore for a few hours?

  1. There’s a relationship scorecard

Are you reminded on a regular basis about how you’re not pulling your own weight? Are past mistakes mentioned regularly?

  • Are you told you have to wash the dishes because your partner took out the trash? Are you told this even though you have a full schedule with work, and they are just watching TV?

Most people in toxic relationships know their relationships aren’t ideal, but they justify and rationalize their doubts away. Many of them would rather be in a poor relationship than no relationship at all. You will never consistently experience more than what you regularly tolerate. To be treated better, you must demand better of yourself and others who engage you. Settling is not a form of compromise; it is refusing to be your best by accepting less to avoid conflict and friction.

An emotionally healthy person views being alone as better than being in a negative relationship. A healthy relationship can be challenging to find, but it’s not an impossibility. People tend to attract people who are operating where they are operating. While you may feel you are in a good place and that you are whole and healthy, the energy you are emitting may tell an entirely different story.

If you’re in a toxic relationship, extract yourself from it or seek professional relationship counseling. You’ll be relieved to be moving on from the current relationship routines.

Suppose you are trying to heal from the emotional scars and trauma caused by a toxic relationship. In that case, I recommend you order or enroll in one of my Healing From Emotional Trauma courses.

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